Big Girls

I am approaching 35 weeks of pregnancy, and am significantly bigger than last time. I am really slowing down, my body gets tired pretty fast these days. There is so much that I want to chronicle about Nina, but as I sit down to write I can't seem to remember everything. She is a year and a half, and measuring 90% for height! She certainly isn't getting that from my side. She is very verbal, we have to be careful about what we say because she repeats everything. She knows her primary colors, and we are actively working on the alphabet and numbers, she has really good retention. She loves puzzles, right now they are her favorite activity. For a long time I didn't think that she realized that I was pregnant, but on Thursday evening she kept coming up to me and kissing my belly. It was a sweet moment that I want to remember forever. She is crazy about her Nani and Nana and walks around their house like she owns it. She is very big into feeding herself these days, which makes a huge mess, but I try to remember that that is how she learns. Nina certainly throws her share of tantrums, it seems like my little actress can turn on the water works in a flash! As I watched the footage of the Virginia Tech tragedy I, like the rest of the world, felt so sad. But I also felt scared. For the first time, I started to consider that someday I will have to let my child out into this world, where things happen that are outside of my control. It was particularly disturbing to me because those were the best of the best, the ones that went to class, and the ones who were passionate about teaching. People who know me understand how much I value education, so I felt that this was a sick violation of what I consider to be a safe haven and sacred place, school. But instead of looking at it from the perspective of me as the student, I see my child. I find myself worrying about her in every situation, not myself. It is a strange transition. In light of that tragedy I am trying to savor and enjoy the small details of every day, even when they seem challenging and difficult at the time, I try to remember that a time will come when she won't want to be with me all of the time. So for today, I will cherish every laugh, tantrum, and hug, and kiss.